Wedmother Survival Guide – The not-so child free wedding

Weddings, as we know, are fun. A great day out, a chance to catch up with friends and family, dress up, make new friends and generally enjoy yourself.

But…what if you know that wedding is going to inundated with children. Now, I’m not the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang but I do like a well behaved child. And that’s not always what you’re going to get at a sugar filled, emotionally charged wedding.  One wedding I attended had very noisy children throughout the ceremony and I missed all the good bits. BUT the bride thought it was charming and who am I to be upset? It is her day after all.Martin kemp

In my day the Child Catcher was a bit more scary!
Did you know Martin Kemp played the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? 

So if you’ve been invited to a wedding where you know there’s going to be a whole bunch of potentially rowdy munchkins, here’s how to enjoy your day and escape the jammy hand print on your Gucci frock.

Disclaimer – some of these tips will depend on the age of the child but we’ll do our best to cover all bases!

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♥ If you’re really really not keen on kids mention it to the bride BEFORE she starts her seating plan and politely request to be near the bar/away from sticky hands.

♥ Make friends with the slightly older kids, they’ll be your ‘assistant’ throughout the day. Kids love being made to feel important, so ask them to do ‘important’ little jobs for you (fetching your pint, not so much; more like pop your wrap on your chair).  This way, should you need to ask them to be quiet/stop running around, they are more likely to listen to you.

♥ Bring a little something. The couple will of course have provided entertainment (colouring books etc) but if you have something that can distract them that can only help!

♥ Planning a wedding with children?  Here’s some tips

♥ The couple have (if they’ve read a load of blogs about kids at weddings) probably also set aside a room with a DVD player which means for a at least 90 minutes there’ll be peace. And also if you need to escape the madness you can always hide in there.

♥ Single?  Then a youngster at a wedding is your best friend.  She will be your dance partner and you’ll always have someone to talk to.  Remember Ross from Friends having the girls dance on his feet and attracting grown up attention?!

Ross feet dancing.gif

♥ Baby wipes are your other best friend. They clean up sticky hands and remove pretty much everything if that sticky hand makes it’s way to your frock.  Or a sticky kiss on the cheek. Not sure about your tights though…you might just have to bring a spare pair!

♥ If you’re easily annoyed by noise during ceremonies and speeches here are some tips to keep you calm….
1. Don’t go to a wedding full of kids
2. If you go, consume wine
3. Just relax, it’s not your vows that are being obliterated. Enjoy yourself.

♥ Kids usually mean entertainment. That usually means a bouncy castle. ‘Nuff said.

♥ It’s a perfect excuse to blow bubbles/wave a wand/play ‘hook a duck’ without anyone looking at you too weirdly. After all, you’re just entertaining the kiddie-winks.

With any luck, your happy couple will have opted for a Wedmother Wedding Nanny to keep the little darlings entertained.  Kids have a short attention span and a low tolerance for sitting still and we can help with that!  But if not, then grit your teeth, whip out your bubbles and join in the kiddie fun ♥

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