It’s a very real thing. So real, in fact, that there’s a movie about it. But what is it, how do you recognise it and can you do anything to prevent it?
When your usually mild mannered, easy going, ‘you choose honey’ boyfriend became your fiancé did you notice a few subtle changes in his demeanour? Was his desire to be informed about every little part of the wedding (that, let’s face it, you thought you’d be planning) just a little bit too much? How about a sudden interest in the clothes and shoes for the wedding party? Yep, sounds to me like you’ve got yourself a GroomZilla.
Here’s how to recognise the early stages of ‘Zilla-ness, and put the chill back in the laid back man you fell for.
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♥ Suddenly you start getting texts and emails from your other half referring to the wedding and some choices you’ve made without him. You thought it was OK to choose the bridesmaid’s shoes yourself. Apparently not…
♥ Don’t tell the Bride has been series linked. And not just the current ones. And there’s a notebook by the sofa. With DTTB notes in it. Don’t panic – join in! A strategic ‘you wouldn’t fall for that, you’re way too thoughtful and smart’ can do wonders and get your GroomZilla back on track.
♥ The Stag do has a to-do list. The best man hasn’t had a look in (and has called you to ask what the frick is going on with your husband-to-be) and there’s a colour coded event planner hidden under the DTTB note book. He’s leaving nothing to chance, and even mumbles about ‘best just doing it myself’ when you ask how the best man is getting on with the Stag plans.
♥ At the meeting with the photographer the GroomZilla will be making sure he’s on that photo list. With whomever he wants to be with. Of course you wouldn’t have left him out, and deep down he knows that. But wedding photographers are known for focusing on the bride (heaven forbid!) and he’s not having it. Got two photographers? Get one of them to focus on your Groom for half an hour!
♥ At every wedding you’ve ever been to your fiancé has murmured about the ridiculous cost of a cake ‘for one day’, the size of it ‘for 70 people’ and the ‘way fancy’ decoration that nobody will even notice once they eat it. Now, at your cake tasting, cost is not important and he’s intent on having five tiers all of different flavours, one fruit cake to keep (neither of you eat fruit cake and you’re not sure where you’ll keep it) and he doesn’t know what it is but he WANTS a grooms cake.
♥ You toyed with getting changed for the evening reception but decided that you’d spent a fortune on the perfect dress so nope, you’ll just change your hair and let the evening guests enjoy commenting on your frock. Not so the GroomZilla. He wants to change out of his morning suit into ….a velvet smoking jacket? Or a (very expensive) designer outfit. Well, if you get to spend THOUSANDS on an outfit, why can’t he? Truth is ladies, he gets to wear his again whatever it is, so you’re gonna have to give him this one.
♥ You suddenly notice pamphlets around for birds of prey. Or horses. Or possibly lions for hire. This is GroomZillas way of letting you know he has a part to play in the way your wedding will look. He will likely grow out of it during the planning process but just in case, you should make noises about the wedding insurance not being keen on wild animals and the venue having a ‘no lion’ policy. Unless you’re getting married in Mauritius. Then he might have a point….
♥ You’ve had your (slightly raucous) hen do. You’ve had a lovely (more serene) bridal shower. Now all you’re hearing is ‘TWO? Two events. I only got a stag do. Where’s my grooms shower?’. Now, annoyingly, this is a thing and we would suggest you just let him have one. It’s a bit like a bridal shower on steroids, with man gifts, man activities (but not strippers – they are for the stag do) and, as is usual when men get together – BBQ. Even in sub zero temperatures.
♥ He calls it ‘my wedding’. And you thought you were the only one guilty of that!
Men (I’ve found) are different creatures to women, and as a rule struggle to understand why you would plan anything more than about 10 days into the future. The Wedding poses a whole new set of rules. This thing isn’t even happening for 18 months and yet decisions have to be made NOW. It’s no wonder that your usually mild mannered hubby-to-be has a case of the ‘Zillas and is freaking out about table cloth colours. Just be thankful that he’s not wading in with 2 months to go when the decisions made are way past the changing stage, and demanding that the car is not the beautiful Rolls Royce you both chose but instead an Aston Martin he can drive himself ♥
Featured image – courtesy of Zazzle where you can buy the pin!