So you’re getting married. You’ve got the sparkler on your ring finger and your mind is already in overdrive planning the perfect day.
In those plans is, of course, the perfect dress and how amazing you will look in it as you glide effortlessly down the aisle towards your intended. The image is so clear you can almost reach out and touch him!
BUT…you start to panic. What about my tummy? What about my chin(s)? What about these thighs (that no one will see under the dress but they’re still there!).
I wanted to take the time to explore weight and weddings. I am not slim. I’ve never been slim, and I’m never likely to be slim. I know I can lose weight but it makes me miserable, tetchy and all sugar-cravy so I don’t do it. I do exercise a bit – I walk, I have an air glider machine, I dance around my living room to 80s and 90s dance tunes… I try to keep fit and active. But being slim is sadly not even a side-effect of that.
So when it came to planning my wedding I had to have a serious chat with myself about losing weight. Do I want that kind of pressure? Weddings can be stressy enough as it is without adding that to your to-do. And what if I lose a lot of weight and don’t look like me anymore. Do I want to look back on photos of a stranger?
Or, to quote Friends (which I would do all day long!) ‘she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn’t have a pretty face’
We set our date in July for the following March so I had 8 months. Now I know it’s possible to completely change your shape in that time but when you’re quite overweight you risk added issues like saggy-baggy-elephant-skin! Granted your wedding dress covers quite a bit, and you’re trussed up to within an inch of your life but your arms are on show, your face changes and your chin(s) drop! All of this factored into my nano-second thought process about losing weight for the wedding.
I suppose if I’d gone dress shopping and not managed to find the right dress, or even just a dress that would fit (check out my entry on dress shopping) then I might have had different thoughts, but if I’m totally honest I’d already kinda covered that in my head by thinking I would simply get a dress made for me.
The pressure we put ourselves under, and the perceived pressure from others can be huge. Here’s my thought…everyone at your wedding L♥VES you! They are there to see someone special to them enjoy a special day. They are not there to judge. Or at least, they shouldn’t be and if your worry is that your guests will judge you, well perhaps you need to re-think your guest list.
And what of your fiance? What do they think of your quest to change your whole self for one day? Support is of course key, and if you’re doing something it should be for you and not for anyone else, but this is the person you’re pledging to spend your life with; for me it should at least be a discussion and their views should count for something.
So, you’ve lost the weight, worn the perfect dress, loved every minute of your day….what next? How many brides out there weigh the same as they did on their wedding day? Could you get into your wedding dress now? I could! But not many of my friends could and they’re not overly overweight but lost around a stone/stone and a half to get into the perfect dress that they couldn’t wear now! Who’s happiest in that situation? Are they busy chastising themselves for not managing to keep a measely stone off or are the bigger brides wagging a finger at themselves for not being able to lose it for the biggest day of their lives?
Ultimately it’s down to you, your head and your body. Do what makes you happy. If you think you’ll be miserable walking down the aisle a little chubby then do something about it. But please don’t go nuts. Please don’t make your wedding all about weight loss. Make it about love, happiness and togetherness ♥