What if a key family member can’t make your wedding?

I’ve been thinking a lot about families and weddings.  Recently I read about Olly Murs and the difficulties his family have been having since he didn’t attend his twin bother’s wedding as he was midway through his X-Factor journey (I will just mention here that the articles I’ve read all point to other issues within the family, not just this one).  That’s quite a choice to make, but I have to say I do understand it.  My brother was in the military when I got married and I knew that at any point he could be told he was doing something else that weekend. I made my peace with it, it’s was his career and I was super proud of him.

Of course I wanted him there, but I wasn’t going to make him feel guilt or pressure to be there if it was out of his control. You might think that Olly’s story is different – he could have chosen NOT to appear on the programme that week and forfeit his lifelong dream of becoming a singer (and can you imagine if he had – look at him now!) but should he have had to?  Should his brother have been more understanding that Olly was tied into following his dream – after all, this was his big day and he was only going to get married once so wasn’t he entitled to be a bit miffed?

This has sparked quite the debate at Wedmother Towers. Some are  adamant that you put your family first and you find a way to go to that wedding. Others believe that if something is stopping you, and it’s not that you can’t be bothered or don’t want to go, why is there a feud at all?

While it’s obviously difficult to rearrange a whole wedding to suit someone, there’s nothing stopping you doing something afterwards.

♥ Have a blessing/celebrant ceremony when those missing family members are available.  This is not a legal ceremony so you can say and do whatever you want

♥ Make a big deal of watching the video together (even put your wedding outfits back on – seriously, any excuse!)

♥ Book your photographer to come and take photos afterwards.  Do it at your venue if you need it to look the same as on the day, and then have a fabulous lunch with speeches!

It’s not the same’ I hear some of you cry.  Well maybe not, but it can be just as fabulous.  It’s an excuse to do it all again (well, maybe not ALL, but a lot of it!). It could be even more special as it will just be close family or closest of friends.

People don’t turn weddings down lightly, and family members especially so.  They know how important it is to you; they know being invited is a very special thing.  So saying they can’t make it will be a very hard thing for them to do.

Families, friends; they’re all special and time with them is precious. But remember this. If someone you really want to come to your wedding can’t because they have something going on in their lives, that person needs your love and understanding.  If you’ve got them on your invitation list they must be special to you, and yes – it’s your big day. But the world won’t end if they can’t make it, and you might just manage to extend the celebrations when they’re free ♥


Like the header card?  It’s by Hotchpotch at John Lewis

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