You got engaged – yay! But prepare yourself because from now on the only thing people will want to know is ‘how’s the wedding planning coming along’.
We’re unsure of the psychology behind it (and we’re sure there is some) but people just can’t help themselves. When something significant is happening in your life it seems that that it’s the ONLY thing happening in your life when it comes to conversation. Even the friends that you usually have all sorts of banter with won’t be able to stop themselves asking you THAT question.
In the movie ‘Valentine’s Day‘, when Reed proposes to Morley she seems happy, but when she visits him later on in the day she’s not wearing her ring and sites ‘everyone going on about it’ as an excuse. That she’d rather keep it quiet while they get used to it. Then a staff member comes up and gushes about wedding plans and her point is made.
If, like me, you’re a little wedding crazy then you won’t mind talking about it. But you might mind ONLY talking about it.
Thanks to Universal Life Church for the image – read the crazy wedding laws in their blog,
The thing is, they’re not really asking you how it’s going. Nope, what they’re really doing is finding a way to inject their ideas into your wedding plans; ‘Have you thought about a (insert…magician/ caricaturist/ glitter artist)?’ ‘I know this awesome balloon modeller’ and on it goes until they have basically thrust their perfect wedding on to you.
People like to feel like they know better and seem to believe that every part of your wedding is up for review and speculation, and that it is their right to give your their opinion.
How do you deal with it? I found it best to say ‘plans are coming along nicely, I might need your opinion on something later on’ and change the subject. Inquirer feels included, believes you’ve answered their question and you don’t have disclose what your plans are over and over again.
Whilst it is, of course, lovely to chat about your upcoming nuptials it is this idea that your wedding is the only thing going on in your life worth talking about that adds to the Post Wedding Blues. Sure, for about a month after the wedding, as you bump into people who didn’t attend, you’ll talk about it and keep the magic alive. But then it all stops. No-one asks, they’ve moved on to the next bride and her plans ♥